


The Choices We Make

by Alexiel (Stormess)



Series: SPN 2017 Advent Calendar [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 06:25:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13564740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormess/pseuds/Alexiel
Summary: Webcricket's Advent Calendar Day 11: The * and * walk into a bar (use pairing of your choice)





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

> Also on my tumblr, AlexielWrites

_A hunter walked into the bar earlier, intent on forgetting._

The cheap liquor burned your throat on the way down, tears prickling your eyes as you downed shot number I-lost-count-and-hour-ago. It was a stupid thing to do, coming here to some shit bar to drink yourself stupid, but you didn't want to do anything else. Sam and Dean had tried to stop you two days ago when you'd left, but you were hell bent on getting away, as far away as you could get. Thankful now that Castiel's little rib trick was still in place so they couldn't just send him to find you.

You wanted to be alone, or so you thought. But now that you were here by yourself, drinking yourself into a stupor, you didn't like the idea so much. Not that you were going to call them though, not a chance in hell of that happening. No, you were just going to drink more, then buy a bottle and go back to the hotel and drink until you passed out.

It wasn't something you normally did, actually it had been years since you'd been drunk, but you were going all out right now. And it was so stupid, even you knew that, to be so upset over the situation. The boys didn't have a clue why you were really so upset, and you weren't about to tell them either. Hell no. That was the last thing they needed to find out, though you knew it would come to light eventually anyway.

Just the thought of it made your stomach twist into knots and you called for another shot from the bartender, who eyed you warily, but sat another down in front of you. You produced some cash and handed it over before waving him off, you didn't want his pity, or his concern. No, you wanted something you knew you couldn't, _shouldn't_ have.

Your mind drifted to a pair of blue eyes and a voice like honey, causing more tears to well up in your already tearful eyes. Throwing back the shot in front of you, you stubbornly refused to cry as you took out some more cash and tossed it down, indicating you wanted the rest of the bottle. The bartender eyed you for a minute before finally handing it over and taking the cash on the bar counter.

Picking it up, you slid off the bar stool and went over to the table in the corner, dropping down into one of the chairs and shaking your hair out of your face. You took a long drink that stung all the way down, a few tears finally escaping your eyes as you sat the bottle down, “Damn you, Lucifer..” It was whispered, but your voice was thick with emotion as you stared ahead at the wall in front of you.

_An angel walked into a bar, looking for a hunter._

“What a sweet thing to say, Y/N, but I'm already damned.” Came a voice just beside your ear, cool breath tickling over your skin in a way that had goosebumps breaking out. It was the one voice you didn't want to hear, and you tried desperately to brush away the tears in your eyes, “Why are you here...how did you find me?”

He stepped around and sat in the chair across from you with that aggravating smile plastered on his face, “Oh I could find you anywhere, little one. You're practically screaming my name in your thoughts, and that's a hard thing to miss.” It made you flinch a little, knowing that your own thoughts were the reason he was able to find you, but really you should have known better.

“As for why I'm here, isn't is obvious?” Lucifer questioned, as though he already knew the answer and that you knew it too. And to be honest, you did.

Fixing him with a glare, you took another drink from your bottle before speaking, “Fuck off, I don't even want to see you right now.” You snapped at him, completely unafraid of what he very well could do to you, but then you'd never been afraid of him at all. There were few things you were scared of, and a fallen angel that just happened to be the devil wasn't one of those things.

“Tsk, tsk...what a mouth on you, Y/N. And here I thought you would be happy that I came all this way to see you.” He mused as he fixed you with a stare of those blue eyes that made you shift in your seat. Only for a moment though, as you had had enough already, you didn't want to have to look at him anymore, not tonight. Maybe not ever again, but right now you were done.

Keeping hold of the bottle, you got up, a little wobbly from how much you'd been drinking, “Just stay the hell away from me.” You turned then and walked with a purpose, albeit still a little wobbly, to the door of the bar, shoving it open and stepping out into the cool night air.

_A hunter walked out of a bar, looking for an escape._

It didn't help much as far as sobering you up any, and you hadn't expected it to either, turning and marching across the parking lot toward the hotel on the other side of the street. You wanted to get away from Lucifer, as far away as you could get, though you knew you had no real way to make him leave unless you used the banishing sigil. That would only piss him off and make him come back, so that was not on the top of the list of things to try.

There were no footsteps following you, and that made you feel better about the situation. At least he wasn't coming after you like you had thought he would when you left the bar. You still only wanted to drink what was left in that bottle and forget everything for just a little while.

When you reached the door of the hotel room, you used your key to unlock it, stepping inside and closing it behind you, sliding the lock into place. You walked over and sat down on the bed, angry at yourself again when you felt those tears well up in your eyes. Taking another drink from the bottle, you sat it aside and ran your hands through your hair, doing your best to swallow back the tears that were starting to try and overwhelm you.

“Such a sad thing you are, and angry too. All over little old me.” That voice came from behind you and you didn't need to turn around to know he was standing there smirking at you.

_An angel walked out of a bar, looking for answers._

That was the last straw though, you had had enough. Standing up from the bed, you turned on him with angry tears starting to slip down your cheeks, “Yes, it's your fault!” Your yell was louder than you wanted it to be, even causing his eyebrows to raise a little as a small, choked sob left you before you could stop it.

You didn't even think as you took those few steps toward him, drew back your hand and let it come down along the side of that perfect face. It was painful both physically and emotionally, and it only made you want to cry even more at the knowledge that you had just struck him. Lucifer was God's favorite, his most beautiful angel, and you had just slapped him.

He didn't move though, only stared down at you with piercing blue eyes as you drew your hand back, hugging your arms around yourself, “I hate you...I hate you so much...” You whispered as a few of those tears dripped down to the floor at your feet, and you hated yourself for it. How dare you let those tears fall when you were in front of him, or in front of anyone.

“You don't hate me, little one, you only wish that you could.” He finally spoke, breaking the relative silence in the room and making you hug yourself tighter.

You didn't lift your head as he came closer, you couldn't look at him right now and you knew it. His shoes filled your line of sight and you bit back another sob, clenching your teeth to try and keep from showing anymore weakness, “I do...I do hate you!”

Lucifer reached out before you could step back, curling one arm around your back as the other hand reached up to grasp your chin and lift your head up to look at him. It broke your heart even more to look at his beautiful face, but you stared up at him defiantly even through your tears.

His thumb wiped away one of your tears and you saw a subtle change in his expression, switching to something softer than you've seen before. You wanted to lash out at him again, but it was so hard when he looked at you the way he was looking at you now. Like you were the only thing in the world that mattered to him, and your heart wanted to believe it more than anything else.

You could feel him peering into you, almost into your very soul and you tried to pull away from him, but Lucifer held you tight against him. The look on his face changed, only for a second, to one of shock and you knew that he had seen what was the cause of your change. That he had seen your emotions, your reaction to finding out about where he'd been and what he'd done after he'd been cast out of Castiel's body.

“Why? After everything I've done to you and those Winchesters, you should hate me.” He said as his hand slid into your hair, cradling your head as the two of you gazed at each other.

It was a question you didn't want to answer, that you couldn't really answer to be honest. You didn't know why you loved him, didn't understand how you had managed to fall in love with the devil himself. But you had, and you hated yourself for it now that your heart was breaking in your chest.

Finding out that he had a son had broken you, and you knew it was ridiculous, he hadn't even known about your feelings for him until now. But that didn't change how you felt about him, even now when you wanted to hate him, all you could feel was the hurt. You didn't want to talk about it anymore though, and you tried to struggle out of his arms, pushing against his chest to try and free yourself, “Just let me go! I don't want to see you anymore!”

He held you even tighter, bordering on bruises from his grip as he backed you up against the wall, still cradling your head in his hand as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. It was enough of a shock to cause you to still in his arms, unable to really comprehend the fact that he was kissing you now. But it felt so good, so right to be with him like this when it was all you ever wanted since the first moment you had laid eyes on him.

Your hands gripped his shirt and you finally relaxed, kissing him back with all the desire you had held back from him for the last few years. Lucifer didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss as soon as you reacted to him like that, and it made you knees weak when his tongue swept over yours. That forked tongue that you had fantasized about so many times, sliding over your own and sending slick pooling between your thighs. Moaning softly against his mouth, your hands let go of his shirt to lift up and curl around his shoulders, pressing your body tightly against his.

The fog of drunkenness that had been over you was lifted as soon as you heard Lucifer snap his fingers, and it only made you kiss him more feverishly. He dominated the kiss though, refusing to let you gain any control at all, intent on wiping your mind of anything but him. And it was working, all you could think about was him and how good it felt to finally be holding him, kissing him.

It was everything you had known it would be, so perfect but so forbidden because of who he was, and it was the most amazing thing you've ever experienced. His body was cooler to the touch, soothing your heated one as you pressed against him, desperately seeking more from him. Loosing his hand from your hair, he slid the tips of his fingers down your neck and over your collar bone to the top of your shirt.

Rather than pulling it off, that hand traveled lower until he cupped your breast,, your moan muffled against his mouth as you pressed into his touch. His lips finally left yours to trail down to your neck, pulling whimpers of pleasure from you with each press of his cool lips against your heated skin. You were clinging to him as you slumped against the wall behind you, his scruff sending shivers of pleasure through you each time that sinful mouth moved against your skin.

“Tell me you want me, little one.” Lucifer growled against your throat as he wedged his thigh between yours, pressing firmly against your clothed sex. A pathetic whimper comes from your lips and you cling to him more tightly, “Please, Lucifer!” It felt wrong to call out his name, but at the same time, so right to finally have that name on your lips as he fanned the flames of your arousal.

“Say it again, Y/N. I want to hear you calling out my name.” He said as he pressed against you, letting you feel the bulge of his arousal against your hip. And it was more than a little arousing for you, knowing that you had this being, this angel, so hard and ready for you.

You ground down against his thigh as you continued to cling to him, gazing at him as he lifted his head to look back into your eyes, “I...I love you...I shouldn't but I do, and I want you, Lucifer.” It was barely whispered, but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he heard every word you had just breathed. What you had said was powerful, something you knew would change everything, even if he already knew, saying it was more real. Both of you knew that, and though he didn't return those words, you had never expected him to.

He didn't say anything this time, only leaned back in to cover your lips with his as he lifted you up and turned, carrying you to the bed. Leaning down, he followed your body, not breaking the kiss as he lowered you to the bed and then fit his hips between your legs. You slid one of your hands up now, into his soft hair as that forked tongue slid against yours again, keeping you well aware of just who you were with. Who you had just submitted yourself to, and you didn't care.

Right or wrong, you loved him. No matter what he'd done, those feelings were still strong within you no matter how much you had wanted to forget. “I'll make you mine, little Y/N.” Was his whisper against your mouth, and you knew that he would. Because when an angel and a hunter walk into a bar, sometimes they walk out as something more.

* * *

 

 **Ending A/N:** I know I was leading into smut here, but I just couldn't do it! x_x I'm sure that I will get to some Lucifer smut soon, but I didn't feel quite ready for it this time around. Still hope you enjoyed it though!

 


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